When I was twenty-one, the archconservative values of my British upbringing collided with a truth I had been denying about myself for years: I am a gay man. Though still young, I was emotionally exhausted from the daily effort of trying to twist myself into an acceptable shape for others. Exhausted from pretending to be someone other than who I am. Exhausted from lying.
The social mold that had been shaping much of my life shattered and I began to question everything, becoming a passionate and devoted spiritual seeker.
“The hero’s journey always begins with the call. One way or another, a guide must come to say, 'Look, you’re in Sleepy Land. Wake. Come on a trip. There is a whole aspect of your consciousness, your being, that’s not been touched. So you’re at home here? Well, there’s not enough of you there.' And so it starts.”
— Joseph Campbell
Something important happens when we begin to question the nature of who we are seriously. If our desire to understand and awaken ourselves is sincere, The Universe will answer us.
However, as I was soon to discover, the path to self-realization is not for the faint of heart. Invariably, it will involve facing the limiting ideas and beliefs we have internalized about who we are and our relationship to the world.
My search took me on a roller coaster ride that spanned three decades, a ride on which I experienced the emotional gamut of the human condition, from extreme joy to utter despair.
In the words of C.G. Jung,
“There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own Soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious . . .”
I have to admit there were some moments when I attempted to jump from my seat on the roller coaster and run—others when I squeezed my eyes shut in a vain attempt to "imagine figures of light." However, it was only in the moments I had the courage to turn and face my heaviest pain that I was rewarded with the transformation I was seeking.
It was on one such occasion that I recognized the fundamental truth of my being. The blinders fell from my eyes and I was flooded with awareness. It did not come as an idea, or even as an emotion, but rather, as a full-on numinous experience.
As with many others on a pilgrimage to know God, I realized (through the greatest epiphany of my life) that I AM God.
I AM God who has been searching for God!
Even more: I am God pretending not to be God, in order to be able to search for, and eventually find, God! Surely this must be one of the meanings of the phrase, “The Divine Comedy.” From this perspective, Life really is a game that The Divine is playing with Itself through each one of us.
With this realization that I AM what I was searching for, the spiritual seeker in me died.
It was the quest of "the seeker" that kept enlightenment at a distance, in the future. I was forever hoping that the next moment would provide the union I yearned for. But I was continually disappointed because I was rarely able to be fully present in the here and now—the only time and place where union with The Divine can be experienced.
Although this illumination marked the passing of the seeker, it did not mark an end to my spiritual journey. In fact, it marked a new beginning.
For a brief moment, I had existed outside time and had been merged with the God of my understanding. I had borne witness to the indelible nature of how my thoughts (both conscious and unconscious) had been creating my reality, and that the same thoughts would (by default) continue to create the future that was yet to unfold.
“What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow: Our life is the creation of our mind.” — Buddha
Over the course of a few months, it became increasingly clear to me that many of the thoughts running around in my head were not aligned with my choice to be consciously connected to spirit and to my heart’s intent.
With this in mind, a simple but powerful process called The Four R’s began to coalesce and take form in my awareness—a process in which I could engage the entire power of The Universe to assist me in my transformation.
“There is force in the universe, which, if we permit it, will flow through us and produce miraculous results.” — Gandhi
I began to employ The Four R’s diligently and it soon became apparent that the process was (and continues to be) extremely effective at shifting the debilitating beliefs that had shaped much of my internal experience and in turn the relationship I had with the world around me.
Many of my most negative beliefs just dropped away! This was followed by changes in my outer reality which began to reflect the qualities of my new inner life. My outer circumstances and relationships became far more loving, peaceful, harmonious, balanced, healthy, and abundant.
It is now eight years later and my life has become a living testimony to the effectiveness of The Four R’s. Therefore, it is with great enthusiasm and delight that I choose to share it with the world.
At first glance The Four R’s may appear to be similar to some of the tools already used in the field of self-transformation. Engaging the power of The Universe or God to go to task on one’s behalf is not an original concept, for example. However, as you begin to understand the subtle nuances of the process you will notice some substantive differences between this and other techniques available to you. It is these differences that lie at the heart of The Four R’s power.
I have devoted the first part of this book to my life story, the spiritual journey that ultimately led to the creation of The Four R’s, and the dramatic effect this discovery had on my own life.
In Part Two, I will take you step by step through the process and then follow this up in Part Three with numerous practical examples to ensure your success.
It is my heart-felt hope that The Four R’s will assist you in your transformation and awakening—that it will elicit a profound realization in you of the indelible state of perfection and love that permeates every cell of your being.
In the words of Ernest Holmes,
“There is one Life, that Life is God, that Life is perfect, that Life is my life now. It is flowing through me, circulating in me. I am one with Its rhythm. My heart beats with the pulsation of the Universe, in serenity, in peace, and in joy . . .”
I now invite you to make some tea, sit on a comfy couch and embark upon the inner journey of The Four R’s.